It’s the last elimination before the big finale, and our celebrities are lined up to take their lumps (or not). The good news is that most of them look like they’ll be able to handle the news, regardless of what it is. Kyle is joking around, Jennifer is grinning and Bristol looks placid and content. And then there’s Brandy, who looks like she’s headed to her own execution. Oh, Brandy, seriously, it’s just a mirror ball. The street value of that thing probably isn’t more than five bucks.  

 

[Who went home? Click through for the full recap of Tuesday's (Nov. 16) "Dancing with the Stars"]
 
Len asks to see Brandy and Maks’ tango. This is a great dance and a stellar performance from Brandy, but someone needs to tell the costumers that patterned hose with a low cut sequined top and lace gloves is just too much, especially when your dressing someone who has somewhat distracting back tattoos.
 
Annie Lennox performs “Universal Child,” which I think she actually performs, as opposed to lipsynchs, because her voice sounds a little strained at the beginning. But hey, she’s actually singing, which doesn’t happen so often anymore, so good for her!
 
The celebrities talk about what they’ve learned from “DWTS,” other than dance steps. Brandy’s been humbled. Bristol has come out of her shell. Kyle never realized dancing was hard. Jennifer learned that she’s getting older, even though she doesn’t look like she’s getting older (seriously, Jennifer, Olay needs to call you for a campaign deal). Brandy thinks it’s a great roller coaster. Bristol has learned about herself. In short, everyone’s really glad they went on the show, which is about what you’d expect them to say with a camera running.
 
Now, we get to see montage recaps of last night’s show. With just enough added backstage footage to make you think twice about leaving the room.

First up, Jennifer and Derek. They are… going to the finals. Yay, but this I expected. The rest of the roster? I have no idea, really. Kyle could go home, but so could Brandy or Bristol. In the clichéd words of every reality TV competition out there, no one is safe! Mwahahaha!
 
The other three celeb finalists chat with Brooke backstage, and Bristol makes the point that, given she had no experience, she’s come a long way. Which is actually a pretty good point, and speaks to the weakness of “DWTS.” Is this a competition to find the best celebrity dancer, or the most improved celebrity dancer? And what constitutes a celebrity? Because Bristol may truly be the most improved, but I’m not sure she’s really a celebrity, or at least not any more than the kids at the high school in my neighborhood who pick up trash at the beach once a year. Hey, they’re teen activists, too, you know.
 
The viewers chose Derek and Cheryl to dance to a 50s themed jive. Which is all kinds of cute. It’s always nice to see Cheryl dancing with someone who’s head is in the same zip code as hers.
 
Annie Lennox returns to perform “Little Bird.” This is a stronger performance, but it’s hard to pay attention when there are dancers dressed like 1920s lunatic strippers leaping around the stage.
 
Next up, Kyle and Lacey. They are… going to the finals. Whoa! I’m glad Kyle made the cut, but now I really have no idea who the third celebrity is going to be.
 
Enrique Iglesias performs “I Like It,” which works so much better on a dance show than, say, an Annie Lennox song, which I say even though I love Annie Lennox. But considering “DWTS” drags out a 5 minute elimination into an hour-long ordeal, high energy dance music seems damn near necessary.
 
Brooke chats with the two couples going into the finals, and I just realized that Derek never, ever directly answers one of her questions. And these aren’t hard-hitting, trying-to-trip-you-up questions. But he responds as if Brooke is working for TMZ on the side or something.
 
It’s down to the final two couples. And really, this could go either way. It makes me sick to think Bristol might clomp into the finals, but hey, she has a fan following. Yay, mediocrity!
 
Len says Brandy has impressed him every week, and he says Bristol has had quite a journey, which is a nice way of saying she isn’t as good as Brandy.
 
The couple going home is… Brandy and Maks. Derek looks stunned. I feel a little stunned, too. Seriously, Brandy got the boot before Bristol? Regardless of whether this is about the most improved or the best dancer, there’s also the basic component of who is the most entertaining to watch. Bristol is not it, people. Go vote for Sarah Palin in the next election, but leave the reality TV stuff alone!
 
Brandy doesn’t have much to say because you know she’s crushed, so Maks talks about his family coming to this country and the power of voting and is very gentlemanly, which he isn’t always, so that’s nice to see.
 
Bruno says he’s disappointed and asks Brandy to do her freestyle even though she’s not competing. Oh, jeez, she is trying so hard not to cry. And now we’re doing the insert shot of her crying. This is kind of awful, especially after Brandy talking about how much this competition means to her and how much she needs something good in her life. I knew she was putting too much on winning this competition.
 
I’m sad we won’t be seeing Jennifer and Brandy going head to head in the finals. But at least there’s only one more week of Bulletproof Bristol.
 
Do you think Brandy deserved to go home? Who do you think is going to win? And do you think this show is about the most improved dancer or the most talented?