Well, it’s déjà vu here, people. When last we met on Wednesday, Adam and Dominic were up for eviction. And here we are again, with the pair once again on the chopping block. Rachel’s in charge of the house, if not her emotions, and there’s a good chance that Jeff and Jordan could get backdoored if Adam and Dominic win tonight’s PoV challenge. Two weeks ago, none of these words would have meant anything to me. Now? I’m speaking fluent “Big Brother”-anese. This is…growth?

Jeff is relieved that Rachel didn’t hold a grudge in light of not picking them to watch “Same Name” on Sunday. Dude: you did her a FAVOR. Let her know the bullet she dodged! She almost had to watch “Same Name”!  In the Arkham Low Security Have Not Asylum, the marked men talk strategy. Rachel comes in and declares it a “veto” week, meaning that she’s nominated those two for a chance to stay in the game. I think. I’m apparently not as fluent in “Big Brother”-anese than I thought. Also, a blood vessel bursts in my brain every time Rachel talks, so I might just be losing mental faculties as the weeks carry on. Her plans backfires, however, and now neither of them trust the deals they previously made with her.

In the HoH room, Rachel complains to Daniele that Jordan still won’t talk to her. VETERAN ALLIANCE FRISSION, YO. Daniele tries to wedge the two other veteran pairs against each other, declaring the house to be fully behind Brenchel should they put Jeff and Jordan up for vote. Brenchel takes a bubble bath to think things over. This plays like a deleted scene from “Cruel Intentions,” if Kathryn and Sebastian were both lobotomized. Brendon thinks a risk is inevitable this week, wondering what he should do: make a big game move to get Jeff out now, or risk having him and Jordan around when it’s single elimination? Meanwhile, Dominic follows up on Daniele’s words with Brenchel, emphasizing that he’s 100% behind them. He agrees to throw the PoV. Three weeks, three thrown PoVs. We’re getting into DiMaggio’s 56-game hit streak territory, people.

Daniele asks Dominic to spot her while lifting weights, which sets of Jeff’s ‘roid-dar or something. Because now he smells a rat. But before he can analyze his suspicions further, it’s PoV Competition announcement time. Competing this week: Brenchel, Adam, Dominic, Jeff, and Jordan. Porsche is selected to host the game, which is a huge surprise to me: I thought she died two weeks ago. (Fine, YOU tell me when you can last remember her being onscreen.) Later on, Jeff muses more on The Daniele Situation, realizing that her Golden Key has afforded her an easy road thus far. Speaking of Ms. Donato, she worries that her “divide and conquer” plans will blow up in her face, and she’s got good reason: Jeff and Jordan come into the HoH to reaffirm their alliance with Brenchel. Rachel doesn’t know whom to believe anymore. All she knows is that she has to win the PoV competition. And if she doesn’t: bushes in the “Big Brother” compound, beware!

Porche’s boobs walk in to announce the Veto Competition, and a few seconds later, Porsche walks in as well. “Come get a colored duckie and meet me in the backyard!” Well, don’t mind if I do…oh wait, you were talking literally, not about…nevermind. Anyways, cut to the backyard, where what looks like a Mardi Gras float of a woman with hairy legs in a giant pool awaits them. Who wears short shorts? Not this woman, that’s for sure. Each of the “hairs” has a letter on it, with which players can then spell words. The player that spells the longest word wins. Whew, thank God Shaquille O’Neal isn’t in “Big Brother.” He’d be making up all sorts of words in order to secure the Power of Veto.

Newbies like me learn about Jeff’s “Technotronic” disaster from BB11, which makes me think that season took place in 1988. (Pump up the jam, y’all.) Halfway through the competition, most of the players realize they didn’t think about what letters they had grabbed, and start contemplating words too late in the game to really make a difference. “I just need to find some ‘P’ in the pool!” cries out Adam. Groan. The final words:

 

Jordan: Little

Dominic: Standings

Rachel: Mouisterizing (heh)

Adam: Fractions

Jeff: Expresses

Brendon: Understanding

 

(I love how Porsche essentially auditioned for “The Price is Right” while announcing the results. Truly epic performance there. I hope Drew Carey was watching. And I hope he was wearing pants.)

With a 13-letter word, Brendon gets Power of Veto. Yawn. Rachel teases throwing Lawon and Kalia on the block, for funsies, but Daniele keeps pushing for her plan to succeed despite all evidence to the contrary that it will. In the Have Not room, Dominic tries to rally support from Shelly in order to secure a long-term alliance once the game goes to single competition. Of course, he talks smack about Shelly’s two favorite players, so that backfires on him when Shelly goes running to tell Jordan about his plan. Jordan tells Brenchel about the newly discovered plot, which makes Rachel’s eyes bug out bigger than The Mask. That makes the entire stupid coup attempt worth it, America!

Later on, Jeff walks into the HoH room, and summarily gets updated on the Gollum-esque machinations of Daniele. Let’s just say I’m not expecting anyone to get backdoored at this point, with Daniele a likely target next week as well. But let’s not dwell on the future: we have to deal with the present. At the veto meeting, Dominic presses for clemency, but it’s too no avail: Brendon doesn’t use the veto. Team PB&J will be NO MORE in 24 hours. The horror. The horror.

 

Did Daniele overplay her hand? Can the veterans keep their emotions in check once the game turns to single elimination? Will Kalia EVER SPEAK ON-CAMERA AGAIN? Sound off below, and I’ll see you again tomorrow night right here for the vote.