So, Brendon and Enzo are on the block, which pretty much means Brendon is going home unless he wins the POV, which could happen, given that Brendon is enflamed with his knightly vengeance and potentially other residue from his absent damsel in distress, Rachel. Not that Matt cares. He’s plain old thrilled to see Brendon and Enzo on the block. No matter who goes home, he figures he’s sitting pretty and, as he reminds us, it’s all part of his master plan. Yes, Matt is the puppet master, the evil genius, the brains. Did he get beaten up as a kid? I can only hope so, although I dare say not enough.

[Full recap of Wednesday's (Aug. 25) "Big Brother" after the break...]
 
I’m not really sure why Britney hates Brendon so much, considering that without super squawky Rachel around he doesn’t seem half as horrible. Oh, wait, yes he does. Just when I was starting to feel badly for the guy, he has to slip on a ridiculous little eye mask and commune with the spirit of Rachel in the have-not room. Depending on your perspective, this is either endearing or pathetic, but I’m going with pathetic.
 
As usual, the POV nominations stir up the house, and Britney tries to assure Enzo he’s not going home. Because we all know Britney keeps her promises. Enzo pretends to be confident in her decision, all the while quietly gnashing his teeth and looking forward to the opportunity to throw her under the bus. Although Enzo, have to say, hasn’t been much of a competitor in this game, so unless the next challenge is about naming favorite activities on the Jersey shore, I’m thinking Britney may have the upper hand.
 
Ah-ha, the (b)rigade really is breaking up! Hayden and Lane conspire against Matt. They want to make a power move. So, Lane asks Britney to make the power move by backdooring Matt. Yes, that’s manly, make the one woman left in the house do your dirty work. I have to say, Hayden is shaping up to be one of the biggest floaters in this game, and I would not cry if his hair and his tan got the boot. However, Britney isn’t interested, because she wants Brendon gone and can’t understand why everyone else in the house has other agendas. Sadly, Brit-Brit is approaching the game like a personal vendetta instead of, oh, I don’t know, a game. That involves strategy. Brendon has no allies and, if anything, is the person you want to take to the final two, as the only vote he’s sure to get is Rachel’s. But Britney thinks he’s, like, gross and that’s all there is to it.
 
Time to pick POV competitors! Britney gets houseguest choice, so she chooses Matt. Interesting. Not Lane? Brendon chooses Lane and Enzo chooses Hayden.
 
So, the POV game seems oddly complicated, but it’s basically about accepting hideous punishments to win veto points (with the goal of getting the POV) or buying prizes and losing said veto points. And no one will know you’re being a greedy guts if you buy the prizes. Hmm, let me guess what the (b)ridade, other than Matt and Enzo, will do.
 
Brendon’s strategy is to take as much punishment as possible. Britney is hoping no one is stupid enough to take prizes. I can pretty much guess how this is going to end up. No one wants to stay in this game more than Brendon. And as long as he can push a little red button, I’m pretty sure he’s golden.
 
Time to reveal the punishments and the prizes!
 
A day of chum baths – Brendon
Handcuffed to a houseguest – Brendon. He chooses Britney to be at the other end of the handcuffs. She’s crazy pissed off because she HATES HIM. Calm down, Britney.
Phone call from home – Lane
Have not for three weeks – Brendon
Shave head/dye hair pink – Brendon, who gets shaved on the spot. Luckily for Brendon, he has a decent looking skull.
Penguin suit – Enzo. Oh, Enzo, you must realize there is the Curse of Wearing The Goofy Outfit, right?
Hawaiian vacation – Hayden. God, I’m really starting to hate Hayden now. At least make an effort, doofus.
A Have Not pass – No one is stupid enough to take this one.
Veto points for $5,000 – Hayden, who points out that this is more money than he’s made in the last two years. Seriously, Hayden? Hayden must live with his parents. I wonder if Kristen knows this.
Donate all clothes (except what you’re wearing) to charity – Enzo
 
The power of veto goes to.. Brendon. Enzo is sure he only lost by two points. Uh-huh. Right. You have to wear a penguin suit and old underwear, pal, not soak in chum.
 
Lane doesn’t care that Brendon has POV, because he’s hoping Matt gets backdoored. And he just might, because Britney is PISSED. Not just because her friends let her down, but because she didn’t get a prize! Waaaaah! Ragan feels her pain. Britney has gotten very good at crying on cue, have to say.
 
Enzo’s pissed, because he’s wearing a penguin suit. He, Hayden, Lane and, yes, Brendon sit down to discuss who got the prizes. Lane confesses to taking the phone call. Enzo is sure Matt took all the prizes. Hayden, who actually DID take all the prizes, is oddly silent. Could it be that the (b)rigade is still holding at four, but with Brendon taking Matt’s spot? Now, that would be funny.
 
Lane goes to Britney to make the case, again, that Matt needs to go home. Britney takes the opportunity to whine about Brendon. Lane reassures Britney that Brendon isn’t coming after her. Britney starts crying. Again. She feels used. She doesn’t want to go home. Lane tries to talk her out of her tree. Lane assures her he’s fighting for her. And he’s supporting her despite the fact she’s being a big, pouty baby, which he basically says to her face without getting smacked. Although he’s not really fighting for her. Because, as much as he likes Britney, his loyalty is to the (b)rigade. Except for Matt. But he’s been kicked out of the (b)rigade. Zoinks! Lane, we never knew you had it in you. Just FYI, I don’t think Britney’s going to visit you at your gas station hang after she sees these episodes.
 
Ooh, another Pandora’s Box! Britney can get an hour with a previous houseguest to ask advice. Britney’s all over it. Until, of course, she discovers the previous houseguest is Jesse. Annoying, self-absorbed, obnoxious Jesse. And he’s going to teach her weight training. While the rest of the hamsters get a Hawaiian barbeque. Poor widdle Britney! She has the worst luck!
 
Oh boy, it’s time for Brendon and Britney’s handcuffing. Best of all, Brendon gets to drag Britney along on all his chum dips. What’s odd is that the chum is neon green. What fish is neon green on the inside? I mean, except the ones from Three Mile Island or certain parts of China? Britney is horrified. Oh, and not only is she chum-adjacent, but she gets woken up (along with Brendon) every forty minutes for another one of his chum baths. Really, I have to say Britney’s luck is really blowing. Finally, Ragan comes the next day with a key to unlock the handcuffs.
 
But if Britney’s having a rough day, well, that hardly compares to Matt’s turn of luck. Britney pulls him aside to explain that, oh yeah, it’s between him and Hayden to go on the block. Matt promptly says that, even though Ragan loves him, he could give a crap about him and wouldn’t care one whit if the guy went home.
 
Matt doesn’t get a warm response from Britney, but that doesn’t stop him from running around the house and throwing his so-called “best friend” under the bus at every opportunity. Matt, despite being a super genius, doesn’t seem to realize his total scumbagginess is not being received well.
 
Memorable moment – Britney tells Lane that if she finds out he has an alliance with someone else, she’s going to kill him. Lane doesn’t deny it, though he does say he’s too dumb to pull it off. Read between the lines, Britney!
 
Enzo goes to plead his case to Brit-Brit, but I can’t pay attention to a single thing he’s saying because he’s wearing BLACK DRESS SOCKS WITH SANDALS. I love that Mr. Mafia has somehow transformed into a 65-year-old retired banker.
 
Britney decides to push Ragan’s panic buttons by telling him that “people” have been telling her to put him on the block. Britney, just come out and say Matt is throwing him under the bus, because Ragan is not getting it. Poor Ragan. He really thinks he and Matt are besties.
 
Veto meeting! So, Brendon uses the POV to save himself, Britney puts Matt on the block, and I click my heels with glee. Best of all, Matt doesn’t even figure it out. He thinks Britney has turned on him, while his (b)rigade brothers fought to save his butt. Oh, Matty, no. You are SO going home, and you have no diamond POV to save your butt this week. I can only hope you reveal your wife is perfectly healthy when you get the ax so that one of your former buddies kicks your ass on the way out the door.
 
No, putting Matt on the block may not have been Britney’s best move (Hayden, however, is another story), but I hardly care. I’m so thrilled to see Mr. Evil Genius go home I can barely stand it. Even Ragan knows Matt has stabbed him in the back (thanks to Britney finally spilling the beans), so really, no one will cry when he leaves. Except his wife, who has to take his lying ass back.
 
Do you think Brendon has a chance to make the final two? Do you think Hayden’s a total d-bag? And how long do you think Britney has in the house?