Yes, screeching drama queen Rachel is gone, but a bigger drama queen remains – her annoyingly metrosexual boyfriend. Medieval Times knight wannabe/possible “Oprah” addict Brendon has vowed revenge on the house. And apparently, some of the housemates don’t realize what a big wuss he is, because they’re skittering around the house like terrified silverfish. Don’t worry hamsters, now that Rachel’s gone, Brendon is as likely to curl up in a fetal position and cry as he is to kick someone’s butt.
But even when Brendon, fueled by rage and knightly delusions, takes an early lead in the HOH competition, Enzo and Hayden aren’t too worried. It turns out these two little sneaks made a case to His Royal Weeniness to put Britney and Ragan on the block should he win HOH. So can we really be surprised when the two burliest members of the brigade don’t exactly break a sweat when it seems like Brendon is going to take the competition? The brigade is looking a little frayed around the edges, methinks.
Not surprisingly, Matt is appalled that Enzo sucks so hard on HOH, as he’s neck and neck with Kathy, which is tantamount to just taking a nap on the edge of the playing field. Matt is feeling a little frustrated that he’s the only member of the brigade that wins anything. Gee, Smartypants, it couldn’t be because you’re being played, could it? Of course not!
So, the HOH competition, which seems to be about untangling a giant, muddy basketball net, drags on. Brendon is neck and neck with Lane. But he discovers he has a knot in his rope. So, instead of continuing to trudge along like everyone else, he stops everything to untangle himself. Geez, Brendon, don’t be a weenie, just GO.
Amazingly, though, Brendon recovers and hits the button. And dedicates his win to Rachel like he’s won an Oscar or Wimbledon instead of a moderately goofy reality TV
show competition. Shut up, Brendon.
Brendon picks his three have-nots – Ragan, Britney and Matt. Ragan can’t believe he’s a have-not for a third time. Britney is sure she has a target on her back. Lane assures her she’s going to stay in the game. Careful, Lane, she might start figuring out you have an alliance. Matt, of course, is fine, since he knows he has that diamond POV in his back pocket, should he need to use it.
In the grody have-nots room, Ragan and Britney get all crazy weepy, swearing their love for one another, while Matt watches and thinks they’re big sappy babies. Have I mentioned lately that I hate Matt? I’m not saying he’s wrong that Britney and Ragan are big sappy babies, but I still hate Matt.
Time to see Brendon’s HOH room! The hamsters go up and try to feign interest, but it’s not so convincing. Brendon tells them they can eat his snacks, but it doesn’t seem like anyone has much of an appetite. Which could either be about wounded pride or a sense of revulsion over Brendon’s win or the fact he had Reese’s Pieces, which are so not worth the calories.
Time for some undramatic character revelations about the hamsters. Britney tells us that she loves Lane, because he’s like her little big brother. Lane says their relationship is like raisin bran. Either they’re sleep deprived or have run out of metaphors, because seriously, it sounds like they’re speaking English as a second language while drunk.
Hayden and Enzo form their own little sub-alliance and plot to kick Britney and Ragan out of the house because Lane is getting too close to his raisin bran and Matt is spending too much time with Ragan. It couldn’t possibly be to throw off suspicions about the brigade, could it? Hayden and Enzo may want to change their tune about Matt, because he’s the only one who’s kept the brigade mostly bulletproof thus far. But hey, I’d be thrilled to see this alliance completely fall apart, so you go, Enzo and Hayden, you idiots.
And now it’s time for the hamsters to go kneel at the feet of Knight Brendon. Enzo pleads with him to put Britney and Ragan on the block, but Brendon only likes half of that idea, because he wants Britney and Lane out. Zoinks! When Lane learns this, he wants to go to a bar, find the hottest girl there, and fight her boyfriend. I think this means he’s angry. Or he wants to go to a bar, either one.
Time for the saboteur! For his next act of sabotage, Ragan selects a viewer suggestion to tell the hamsters that there’s a secret alliance in the house that will be revealed. In announcing it to the house, he tosses in the little detail that the relationship is between a guy and a girl. Since Britney and Kathy are the only two girls left, I’m not sure Ragan realized he was kind of throwing his buddy Brit-Brit under the bus, but oh well. It did get the hamsters fired up, and that’s just fun.
The have-nots discover their foods for the week are escargot and eggplant. Matt is very displeased. Suck it, Matt. Ragan is not a fan of either food. I’m worried Ragan might actually waste away. Britney can live with the eggplant. I have to admit, I wouldn’t be too excited about either food, but there’s always slop, isn’t there?
Then, it’s Ragan’s turn to beg Brendon. Who does not seem interested. Until Ragan suggests they have an alliance, which no one would suspect. But Ragan disrespected Rachel! How can he betray her that way? Oh come on, Brendon, Ragan actually made a really good suggestion!
Next, Brendon asks Britney why she should stay in the game. She swears she’s going to fight her ass off to win POV, and she won’t use it if he doesn’t put her up. Don’t trust her, Brendon.
Time for the nomination ceremony! And, instead of doing something smart, Brendon nominates Ragan and Lane. Dumbass. He makes a speech about wanting the best competitors in the game and blah blah blah, but he really blew it by putting up Ragan, who might have been a faithful ally. Of course, Lane isn’t going anywhere. Not only will Britney screw Brendon over if she wins POV, Matt could always step in with his diamond POV if Lane doesn’t actually win it himself. But the real issue is that Brendon’s made a bigger enemy of one of the few people who seemed somewhat neutral toward him. Oh, Brendon, you might as well pack your bags now, because unless next week’s POV challenge involves muddy basketweaving, you’re probably gone.
What do you think of Brendon’s nominations? Do you think Ragan’s been a good saboteur? Who do you think is going home?