So, Rachel and Brendon are on the chopping block. And there’s a saboteur loose in the house. Oh, and Annie has a target on her back for having gotten buddy-buddy with Rachel and Brandon, even if she did make gagging noises while they geek-flirted with one another. And Kathy and Andrew are either savvy manipulators or incredibly sucky game players. Well, can’t say this season of “BB” is off to a slow start or anything.

[Full recap of Wednesday's (July 14) "Big Brother" after the break...] 

And neither is the episode. Brendon and Rachel get into the hammock and cuddle innocently, Brendon pretends to cry a little, Rachel tries to comfort him, and that’s all it takes for hormones and boredom to work their magic. Our science geeks become the first couple of the season to toss a blanket over their heads and make the other hamsters assume they’re having hot, passionate sex, which seems kind of hard to maneuver in a hammock, but hey, it certainly doesn’t look so innocent when you’re hiding from the cameras, even if you can’t really do much of anything without hyperventilating or sucking wool.
 
So, after he recovers from his blanket toss with Rachel, Brendon and Hayden have a pow wow. Brendon, in a moment of chivalry, tells Hayden he can’t throw Rachel under the bus. And then he threatens Hayden that he’d better be nice to him or he’ll win POV and make his life a living hell. And then he tells him he wants to go final two with him. And Annie. And one other person. And not Rachel? Wha?  My head is spinning. Brendon, you may be a smart guy, but you’re either way too confident or you’re off your nut.
 
Time for the POV competition! Enzo, Andrew and Monet will join Hayden, Rachel and Brandon in the battle.
 
Enzo’s junior mafia, I mean brigade, wants Monet to win. They’d also like to pick Kathy as a pawn if anything goes awry with the POV competition. I think maybe the junior mafia, I mean brigade, is getting a little ahead of themselves.
 
Brendon tries to make Hayden sweat by reminding him that, if he wins POV, he’ll gun for him. Hayden really doesn’t give a crap, clearly.
 
So, the POV competition looks fun, because it’s all about piñatas. Unfortunately, all the piñatas are filled with rotten mayonnaise. And the hamsters have to reach into the rotten mayo for letters, which will then be used to spell a word. Longest word wins. Why do all the challenges have to be food-themed? And in such a way you never want to eat said food again? Really, this is like aversion training for compulsive eaters or something.
 
Ragan is horrified that the non-competing hamsters have to sit in the splash zone. Lane does not like to be hit in the face with dairy, which apparently didn’t happen back on the farm. But Andrew doesn’t mind all the rotten mayo, because mayonnaise is kosher. Shut up, Andrew.
 
Andrew is sure he’s smarter than anyone else, and thinks he can spell a longer word because of that. Again, shut up, Andrew.
 
So, when the mayo settles, here’s what’s spelled out.
 
Hayden spells possible – 8 letters
Enzo spells factory – 7 letters
Rachel spells chemistry – 9 letters
Monet spells cheaters – 8 letters
Brendon spells understanding – 13 letters
Andrew spells pasteurized. And his word is misspelled. And it’s 11 letters. So, suck it, Andrew.
 
As he predicted, Brendon WON. Hayden, be scared. You now have a target on your back. Better hope your brigade can protect you.
 
Andrew, um, says he misspelled his word on purpose. To throw everyone off. Um, Andrew, I don’t believe you for a second. Andrew is really shaping up to be the most annoying person in the house with Kathy a close second. Which means they’ll make final four.
 
Enzo and Matt the Brain (does that make Enzo Pinky?) decide to backdoor Annie instead of Kathy. Now, they have to convince Hayden. No one seems to care what Lane thinks.
 
Can I just say using that air horn sound instead of a bleep whenever someone swears is REALLY annoying?
 
The brigade then tells Britney their plan to take out Annie. When did Britney become the brigade mascot? Then the girls pow wow. Britney promptly spills the beans to Annie about the brigade’s plan. So Annie invites Hayden into the cabana room. And mentions that Britney spilled the beans. And Hayden squirms. Annie seems to think Britney is the source of all her problems. Oh, Annie.
 
Hayden next talks to Lane, which is good, because the guy doesn’t talk much but when he does, he’s usually sharper than anyone expects. Lane isn’t so sure about backdooring Annie. He’s thinking Kathy. Hayden is getting confused. Poor Hayden.
 
And now it’s time for the saboteur to visit! The saboteur reveals that two housemates are lifelong friends. Mwahahahahaha! Britney fingers Kristen and Brendon. Kristen fingers Matt and Annie. Andrew thinks Matt and Ragan are in a gay relationship. Andrew says it can’t be him because everyone’s such an idiot about Judaism. Which makes everyone think he’s the saboteur. Andrew, if you’re not the saboteur, you really suck at this game. Heck, even if you are, you still seem incapable of not acting suspiciously. But maybe that’s his strategy – be such a pathetic loser, no one ever sees you as a threat.
 
POV time! Brendon, of course, saves himself. And Hayden puts Annie on the block. And she is pissed. At Britney. Right now, I would think Annie would be courting votes, but she seems more interested in beating the snot out of Britney. Really, people, this is not the way to stay in the game. This batch of hamsters is not impressing me with their cool, calculated game play thus far, I’ve gotta say.
 
So who will go? But forget that, who is the saboteur? Can’t wait for Thursday!
 
Who do you think will go – Annie or Rachel? Who do you think is the saboteur? And do you think the brigade can go the distance?