So, last we saw our latest batch of hamsters, they were going all kinds of “Lord of the Flies” on one another, as Julie had revealed the presence of the saboteur. I was talking about this with a friend of mine, and he brought up the very valid point that “BB” blew it by revealing the saboteur twist this early in the season, as now everyone is too paranoid to form alliances and may actually isolate themselves in order to wallow in their growing paranoia. And we know that’s always good TV, people locked in a house staring suspiciously at one another in nervous silence.
For the first few minutes of the show, we get to see our hamsters desperately try to flush out the saboteur by interrogating one another. Which, unsurprisingly, isn’t so effective. Andrew gets tired of this and decides to skulk off to bed. Not suspicious at all, Andrew. I’m a little surprised when Enzo and Andrew bond and begin mutually pointing a finger o’ blame at Brendon. Hmm.
Monet, Rachel, Kathy, Hayden and Annie pow wow and decide Brendon may be weird to have such an affection for his toothbrush, but they’re more suspicious of Andrew and Enzo. Me, too.
Hayden shows off his HOH room. Ragan likes the fact that there are no drunken pictures of Hayden making gang signs at the camera. I guess he saves those for Facebook, like everyone else.
Brendon reveals to Rachel and Annie he’s getting a Ph.D in biomedical physics. Rachel thinks this is so cool because she did, like, research on pheromones. Now that’s what I call a euphemism. And yes, the pheromones were flying between Rachel and Brendon. Meanwhile, poor Annie was skeeved out by this weird mating display. Sorry, Annie, but this is how geeks mate, just get used to it.
And the debating over who is the evil saboteur continues in the HOH room. Kathy thinks it’s going to be a likable girl. But no one can figure out who it is. All the little hamsters seem so stressed and so anxious, I’m thinking Julie needs to hand out trial size packets of Xanax or something.
Annie tells Ragan she has a girlfriend. There’s hugging and some crying and lots and lots of bonding. Interestingly, Annie doesn’t say that she’s bisexual and wants to sleep with anything that moves, or at least seemed to when we first met her, as I think that may temper some of Ragan’s high emotions in the moment. I’m not sure if her open-door-policy sexual preferences are quite the trump card Annie seems to think they are, but this will be interesting to watch.
Rachel and Brendon flirt in the Jacuzzi, which is one small step forward for science geeks and one giant step back for showmance, as Hayden spots this blossoming chemistry and determines it must be shut down and soon. Oh, Hayden, how can you be so heartless?
And yay, the usual HOH sucking up begins. Enzo tries to form an alliance with Hayden, Matt and Lane. Amazingly, he pulls it off, as all four of them note that they didn’t leave the room when the saboteur struck. Of course, this just makes me think that Enzo is the saboteur, as we’ve already been told that the “BB” producers will help out the saboteur whenever necessary, so the mole didn’t need to get up from the couch to mess with the hamsters. Anyway, Enzo has decided he’s the mastermind of this junior mafia. He gives everyone nicknames. Lane is the Beast, Hayden is the Animal, Matt is the Brains, and he is Meow-Meow. I’d think, since Enzo is coming up with the nicknames, he might pick something cooler for himself, but okay.
Hayden demands the hamsters split up into three teams of four for the day’s exciting have/have not challenge. Andrew says he has to win, because he can’t eat non-Kosher slop. I thought the producers provided Kosher slop? Although, honestly, I just thought that was another name for gefilte fish. Sorry, but that looks all kinds of nasty at the supermarket.
In preparation for the challenge, Hayden appears dressed as the Tooth Fairy in a white leotard and tutu. Unfortunately, the Rock looked so, so much hotter in his Tooth Fairy costume, but Hayden’s not so bad.
Hayden explains the rules. The hamsters must jump into caramel, then crawl through a pile of popcorn looking for teeth. Oh, I really hope that’s actual caramel and not, say, motor oil or something. That sounds sticky, but so delicious.
Lane is determined to win, because he is huuuungry. I’m wondering if any of the hamsters will just flip out and go face down in the caramel, eating their way to the finish line.
The first three, Matt, Brendon and Monet, flop into the caramel. Brendon almost loses his shorts in the sticky caramel, which Rachel appreciates. Amazingly, Matt finds the first tooth. Brendon, with his shorts around his ankles, finds the next tooth. Monet isn’t far behind, which bodes well for her not being too Chima-divaesque, but then again, it’s early yet.
Two standouts for sucking at this game are the blondes, Britney and Kathy. Both seem incapable of slogging through the caramel, like sickly little flies wandering through the mouth of a Venus flytrap. While I’m not shocked to see this from Britney, Kathy is a friggin’ sheriff. C’mon, don’t you have to take a physical for that job? Saboteur alert!
Realizing his teammate isn’t exactly thriving, Enzo finds an extra tooth and tucks it away in an easy-to-find hiding spot, so all she has to do is get through the caramel and grab one pile of popcorn. Okay, maybe Enzo isn’t the saboteur.
Ragan wants to kill Kathy. I think everyone on Kathy’s team wants to kill her. This is like watching a dinosaur die in the La Brea tar pits or something. Seriously, woman, it’s caramel, not Normandy Beach.
Green team wins the challenge. Pink team comes in second, and, thanks to Kathy’s horrible performance, Blue has to suck it. Rachel, Matt, Ragan and Kathy will be taking cold showers, eating slop and sleeping in a disgusting bedroom.
Next, we get to see that disgusting maggots, which happens to have jars full of maggots and rusted lawn chairs instead of beds. The maggots, of course, make Kathy scream like a little girl. Seriously, where is this girl sheriff? Disneyland? Kathy is shaping up to be a total wuss or is the saboteur, one or the other.
Because Kathy isn’t hated enough, she calls Britney out for getting, essentially, a gimme from Enzo. And yes, Kathy has earned an enemy for life. I’m wondering if Kathy is possibly too stupid to be the saboteur, or if her game includes sabotaging herself.
Well, that was enough excitement for one day. The next morning, Andrew comes down to breakfast and sees masking tape Xs over Britney and Kathy’s wall photos. He rushes to tattle to Hayden that the saboteur has struck again. I have to believe Andrew isn’t the saboteur, because it couldn’t be so obvious, could it? Wait, this is “BB,” maybe it is just that obvious.
Anyway, the saboteur has a message! Which isn’t much of a message at all, just something along the lines of don’t trust anyone. Yawn, saboteur.
Britney, feeling like she has a target (or a masking tape X) on her head, goes to Hayden and suggests he throw Brendon and Kathy under the bus. Hayden nods seriously, but I think he made his decision to target Brendon and Rachel ages ago.
Finally, it’s elimination time.
Andrew gets a key, but I’m guessing that’s largely because he can’t be eliminated.
Annie gets a key.
Ragan gets a key.
Enzo gets a key.
Kristin gets a key.
Britney gets a key. So, Hayden is ignoring the saboteur, haha!
Matt gets a key.
Money gets a key.
Kathy gets a key. Too bad!
Lane gets a key.
So, Brendon and Rachel are nominated. Hayden tells Brendon he’s on the block because he went AWOL during the blackout, while Rachel is on the block because she hasn’t tried to “connect” with Hayden at all, while we really know that just means Hayden is pissed that the hot girl in the house hit on someone other than himself.
Rachel is pissed. Brendon thinks Hayden made a huge mistake. I think Hayden’s being pretty strategic, really. Brendon’s smart, he’s fit and he’s a huge threat. Can you blame Hayden for wanting him gone?
Meanwhile, Enzo is tickled about his little alliance with the other guys. He thinks he’s a genius. And then he says he’s gonna tear this house apart. Odd choice of words, there, Enzo. Saboteur alert!
Really, this saboteur thing is shaping up to be trickier to figure out than I expected, as so many hamsters are already acting like idiots and snitches and picking fights, there’s just a plethora of possibilities to choose from. But I have to give “BB” props for adding an unexpected twist. Let’s just hope it doesn’t go hopelessly awry. At least not too soon.
Who do you think the saboteur is? Do you think Kathy is faking or is really that bad at physical challenges? Do you think Brendon and Rachel have a real love connection?