Allison of "America's Next Top Model"
Credit: The CW
Camille and her pageant poses have done her in, leaving Bre and Lisa with the biggest targets on their backs. Oh, but at least they’re designer targets. Or maybe they’re just from Target. This isn’t exactly the classiest of seasons, after all.
One girl who takes very classy photos, however, is Angelea, and Bianca just cannot understand how she won best photo last week. Isn’t she, Bianca, like, the only model in the world, like, ever?
Now over to Shannon. Shannon still equates nudity with being a “bad” girl, which is a huge insult to ever supermodel ever born. For God's sake, the first lady of France has posed topless, it's not always porn honey. The point is, Shannon is annoying. When Shannon compounds her irksomeness by botching the phone-sharing system in the house, Bianca dares show annoyance in Shannon's direction. Lisa then butts in, and thunderdome ensues between Lisa and Bianca. (The CW dubs this a “catfight,” but I doubt we’d hear that term if two male meatheads from Survivor had come to blows.)
Miss J. meets the girls at the Santa Monica Pier. He claims that fishing is one of his favorite pastimes. Then he announces the challenge: The girls will work a runway that also happens to be a moving carousel. (Chanel did this in Paris, darling.) And just in case this whole thing isn’t klassy enough, the girls will be modeling clothes designed by the Kardashian sisters. In fact, there they are: The Kardashian sisters! Kourtney is even wearing a cravat she says she designed for Sears.
The prize for this challenge: A head-to-toe Kardashian-for-Sears outfit.
Lisa treats the runway like a mechanical bull at Billy Bob’s. Allison stumbles but makes it look twee. Dominique shrieks her way through it.
“She reminds me of my alcoholic aunt,” Miss J notes.
Bre and Kayla come off as the most professional, with Laura and Dominique in the same category. Bianca looks pissed, while Shannon and Alexandria appear to survive the ordeal.
The winners are a tie: Bre and Lisa. When Miss J. quizzes Bianca about why-so-sour, Bianca revisits the whole I-am-the-only-model-here schtick. Back at the house, Bianca horns in on her boyfriend and cries and cries while Lisa and Co. gossip about her behind her back. Oooh, it’s enough to make Bre take off her earrings! She runs to bestie Bianca, who is still on the blower, and tells her it’s time to bring the A-game.
Time for a shoot! The girls go back to Siren Studio, where they now live, apparently, to do a pictorial tribute to Michael Jackson. Each girl will be a different Michael Jackson in a different era of his life, and they will all be styled by Rushka, MJ’s stylist. Tim Petersen is the photog. At least one of the garments is an original that was worn by Michael himself. LaToya also appears to add just that little extra Jacko.
Bianca gets the iconic red zipper jacket and rocks it. Bre gets the 80s-era dictator epaulets and wows Rushka by using movements that are energetic but “peaceful.” Alexandria, meanwhile, gets put in a different dictator uniform and seems to do fine, while Angelea gets the graphic tee that marks MJ's angry period. Angelea doesn’t quite get it, opening her mouth like a Neanderthal.
People love Dominique in the white suit and black armband, and Kayla apes Michael’s moves expertly. Even Shannon seems to know what she’s doing on this one.
And then comes Laura, who seems to have the best physicality on the set. Allison channels the youngest Michael, and it’s very doll-like, while Lisa dances more and models less, at least, if you ask Bianca.
So. Panel time. Latoya is the guest judge.
Shannon is up first. She gets lots of praise, but Tyra wants to see more face. Kayla fares far better. Dominique looks like a model and MJ at the same time. Angelea, not so much. She looks uncertain and amateurish.
Allison’s young MJ captures his early naivete and people love it. Bre delivers a shot on the points of her toes and impresses Tyra, but not the other judges. Alexandria offers a rare photo in that it shows more face than most of the other pics.
Andre cannot stand Lisa’s Lucille Ball panel ensemble and he loathes her leaping photo. Nigel does not like Lisa's shot either, but Tyra seems to want her to stick around because she’s memorable.
Laura's photo is a beau. Andre sees “grace and dignity” in it.
Here comes Bianca. Her shot looks actually like it’s a shot taken between photos. It’s pretty sad. Tyra brings up Bianca’s frustration this season and asks whether she really wants to be here.
So who goes home? The best photo choice -- in fact the entire order of the callout -- is decided by LaToya.
The callout: Laura, Shannon, Dominique, Allison, Alexandria, Kayla, Bre, Bianca.
Bottom two: Lisa and Angelea. But out of love for MJ, LaToya declines to send anyone home. She keeps both girls in the competition. Because Michael was about love and giving of oneself. Or something.
Next week: The girls pose with a real model, the one and only Coco Rocha.