Laura of "America's Next Top Model"
Credit: The CW
Dominique took the cheese in the Greek salad challenge, but it’s a whole new episode now, gurl. Angelea is ready to bring that fire she hasn’t seem to muster for the past three weeks. Laura knows that y’all caint have any doubt in y’alls mind, or y’all are gonna lose! And Lisa just wants Allison to go home already, because she looks, like, “dead.”
Bring it on.
A weird TyraMail arrives. It heralds another meeting with the judges, and right after an elimination panel, which just confuses everybody.
The girls gather at the bar at the resort, and Ms. J. announces that the contestants must judge ... each other. Right, right, because when Gisele heads to work she has to get Kate Moss’s stamp of approval.
Laura is put in the hot seat first. She’s asked who deserves to go home next. Classy, Ms. J. Laura doesn’t take the bait, and neither does Allison. Ditto Lisa. However, Dominique goes for the kill by calling out Angelea.
“I really really love Angelea,” Dominique insists. Right, right.
Angelea, of course, sees all this as veiled attack, which, come on, it is. Laura doesn’t think it is, because she thinks she’s trying to help. It all backfires.
“Stupid bitches,” Angelea cries. “Kiss my ass.”
The real people to blame here, are, of course, the ANTM producers, for making such an obvious ratings grab at the expense of the cast.
Ms. J goes outside and fetches Angelea, and the backstabbing is (supposedly) back on. Angelea is asked who is the weakest of the contestants. But, to her credit, she won’t name a name either.
The girls secretly vote on who is the weakest, and Allison is named. Angelea is, to put it mildly, surprised. Laura is seen as the strongest contender.
“Everyone is going to put her first because they don’t feel threatened by her,” Lisa say.
A former model named Twylem meets the girls on a yacht for some supposed relaxation in front of the cameras. Everybody goes swimming in the azure water, even Laura, who has “water anxiety.”
That night, they all go to a club in Crete. Some random dudes do shots and parade in front of the ladies. Lisa wants to be healthy so she rejects the shots, even though the drinks look real pretty with strawberries in them and everything.
A photo shoot awaits the next day. Mr. Jay meets the girls in front of some ruins. The theme of their shoot is ancient Olympic sports. Nigel is the photographer. Now, ancient athletes competed naked, you know. Will the girls be naked as well? Apparently not.
Dominique does her shoot first. She cannot pronounce the word “javelin,” nor can she hold one at first. Nigel just can’t figure her out, and that’s not a good thing.
Up next: The girl with the lowest potential but the biggest googly moogly muppet eyes. Allison gets handed a purse or something and is told to pretend she’s a discus thrower. It’s kind of a mess for a while, but she eventually gives Nigel something to work with.
Lisa gets to do hurdles, which she also did in high school. When she appears to be holding back, she admits to Nigel that she’s afraid someone will deliberately choose a bad shot for panel. Nigel seems a bit pissed off, and insists “that’s not how it works.” Lisa then tries some of her signature jumps, and Nigel is thrilled.
Laura kills it with a bow and arrow thingy.
“My sister can kill with a bow,” Laura volunteers. Nigel really didn’t need to hear that.
And here comes Angelea. She doesn’t know from shot puts, and her confusion translates into awkwardness in front of the camera. It’s a huge mess.
Oh wow, it’s night already. Know what that means? Tomorrow the girls will meet with the judges.
“What if we are the judges and we have to eliminate?” Dominique wonders.
Panel time! Sorry, Dominique, the judges are your usual crew: Nigel, Andre, Tyra, Miss J.
Allison is judged first. Tyra and Miss J like it fine. Lisa’s photo is deemed “gorgeous” by most people. Dominique literally has a leg up, but in this case, that doesn’t work for her.
“The leg is weak, soft like buttah,” Andre says.
Andre likes Angelea’s shot, but Nigel reminds us that this was not a great set of film, and she was an angry mess during her first challenge. As for Laura, her shot is amazeballs. Andre is the only person who has a criticism, something to do with a bent knee, but come on. She clearly has the best shot.
So who goes home?
The callout: Laura, Allison, Lisa.
Bottom two: Angelea and Dominique.
Dominique gets criticized for taking great photos but still somehow fading into the background. Angelea gets smacked around for breaking under pressure.
Angelea gets to stay and Dominique is sent packing.
Next week: Tyra Banks directs, Tyson Beckford stuns.
Did the right model go home?