A scene from Wednesday's "America's Next Top Model"
Credit: The CW
Question of the week for all you fashion fans: What is a classy supermodel like Coco Rocha
doing on the same show as Bianca Golden, aka (as Lisa puts it) that “spoiled little brat”? It’s as if an A-list movie star, say, Drew Barrymore, was slumming it as a spokesperson for Cover Gir- uh, never mind.
On our way to our next challenge in Long Beach, we learn that Lisa is a scrapper. Which is good for her, because that next challenge is flag football. Awaiting the girls on the beach: Brittny Gastineau and a plus-sized model named Julie Henderson. Isis, Camille, Brittany and Sheena are also brought back to round out the teams. Everybody gets little outfits a la Lingerie Football.
“I’m a lesbian, and we all have to win at sports,” Kayla enlightens.
There’s a blue team and a red team and what this has to do with modeling, nobody knows yet. Then some real live pro football players arrive; Angelea nearly faints at all the sudden hotness. Each team gets two NFL players to bolster their odds, and a chance to win money for charity. And by the way, ladies: Smile! Every contestant will have to pose during the game at one point. Nigel shall oversee it all with his noted fashion photographer talent.
Bianca tackles Lisa relentlessly. Shannon, like, doesn’t appreciate all this, like tension.
Dominique pulls out a decent action shot, at least, she thinks she does. Bre looks a bit Glamor Shots-eque, but Kayla nails her pose.
Well, look at Lisa go! She scores the first touchdown. She’s all over the place in her shots, though. Like Diddy, she cannot seem to pose with her mouth closed. Shannon turns in some usable photos, while Alexandria overdoes everything. Angelea doesn’t please Nigel either.
Impressive: Laura manages to photograph tall, even in sand.
So who takes the best photo between downs? Kayla. She gets some of Gastineau’s jewelry and a chance to be on Tyra’s Web site, and get styled by Andre Leon Talley in the process. Yay. Kayla poses in a vest made of (a) feathers and (b) freedom, girl!
Back at the house, more tension and TyraMail: Another photo shoot is in the offing, natch. Alexandria says she’s determined to get the top photo this week. Get in line, honey.
The theme of this latest shoot is a bar fight, or bitch fight, or something. And here comes Rocha, the model and dancer who got her big moment while Irish step-dancing at a Marc Jacobs show. Two contestants will pose at a time with Rocha, who is a master poser. (Not a poseur, either; nothing fake about this girl! Take note, Alexandria.) The photographer is Douglas Friedman.
The whole shoot is designed to look very Linda Evangelista-capping-a-bitch-poolside-circa-1990.
Bianca is screwing up her face too much, but Coco is impressed with both her and Shannon when all three of them work together. Allison and Kayla are paired together as well. Allison can’t seem to keep her chin down.
Here comes Angelea, who claims she doesn’t know how to work her angles. Coco gives her some basic advice: Just keep on moving as long as the camera is clicking. Laura holds her own. Angelea? Not so much. Mr. Jay calls her out on her lack of energy while Coco outposes half the damn planet, girl. Halfway through the shoot, Angelea loses it and pads off. Mr. Jay gives her a pep talk; only them does the real Angelea comes out to play. She delivers in the end.
“I’m gonna punch high fashion in the face!” she declares.
What follows is a twp-way staged screamfest between Bre and Alexandria, and it freaks Rocha out. Is that a good thing? We’ll wait for the photos.
When Lisa’s turn comes, she does her best to bring out her natural abrasiveness, and it works between her and Rocha and Dominique.
“They were by far the perfect trio,” Mr. Jay declares.
Panel time! Rocha sticks around as the guest judge.
First up: Kayla and Allison. “Cinematic,” Andre declares. Allison looks way high-fashion, despite a lackluster shoot.
“I wasn’t expecting this,” Rocha confirms.
Bianca looks very ugly-pretty, which is a good thing.
“You look like a praying mantis,” Tyra declares. Again: A good thing. Shannon is so-so, with “weak” legs, per Andre.
Laura is mid-tumble, and Angelea is mid-scream, in their photo, and I think it’s great, but Tyra doesn’t like Laura’s body language. Coco reveals that Angelea had a “moment” during the shoot but in the end acted professionally.
Ouch! So much for best photo, there, Alexandria. Coco looks like the only pro in the frame next to Alexandria and Bre.
“This looks like a reality show contestant who got to do a photo shoot with a supermodel,” Tyra tells Alexandria.
Lastly: Dominique and Lisa. They “rock the heck” out of the photo, Tyra rules.
So who goes home?
Best photo order: Dominique, Lisa, Bianca, Angelea, Allison, Kayla, Shannon, Laura.
Bottom two: Alexandria and Bre. Tyra verbally beats their amateur asses for being such amateurs. Bre has no discipline in her photos, Tyra says, while Alexandria’s pics are getting weaker and weaker.
Alexandria gets to stay, while Bre is sent packing and Bianca is left sisterless.
Next week: The girls get to design their own perfume, and we witness the return of Eva.
Did the right model get sent packing?