Alexandra of 'America's Next Top Model'
Credit: Tyra Banks/The CW
Final five, bitches! Alexandra is ready to flatten some skinny competition! Jessica is ready to use her face to fierce it up! Krista is on a “high high” after being picked first last week! Octomom, I mean Angelea, is starting to show her jealous stripes with onetime friend Krista.
Oh, more intelligence on Jessica: She’s a stay at home mom who doesn’t know how to use a toaster without setting stuff on fire and then screaming until someone else puts it out.
For the first challenge, the girls are brought to one of the sets for the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Actress Sarah “Rosie Cotton” McLeod, is there to introduce the challenge: being tall and posing in a Hobbit door.
“I don’t know what a hobbit is, right?” Angelea reveals. She just gets more and more charming, doesn’t she?
Krista and Angelea nail their shoots, but Jessica, being Jessica, flops completely. “She looks so commercial,” Mr. Jay hisses. Raina and Alexandra do so-so inside the Hobbit hole.
Angelea thinks she’s going to win the prize -- $3,000 in clothes from the fashion house World. But of course Krista wins; she’s more talented and more charming with the judges anyway.
Back at the Top Model penthouse, Alexandra and Krista make fun of Octomom’s embarrassing performance at panel the week before. Angelea -- what do you know -- doesn’t like it. Another cycle, another girl who can dish it but can’t take it.
Jessica keeps mentioning how much she wants to see her kids; methinks she’s in the bottom two again. Meanwhile, Krista and Alexandra finally reveal why they don’t like Raina: They think she’s fake. (Raina’s favorite phrase is apparently, “Oh Mylanta!”) Hey, better that than, you know, a total bitch.
Next challenge brings the girls to a vineyards. The idea is a “shadow shoot,” where shadows and light will prove some sort of unique challenge, and the girls must find the light through the shadows. Tyra will be the photographer.
“Shadows! Secrets! What are you hiding”? Tyra prompts.
Alexandra goes first. “Beautiful,” Tyra raves. “Niiiice. Love it. Fresh.” The whole time, Jessica is thinking negative thoughts about, like, her life. She goes next.
“This is too commercial,” Tyra barks, “out of the box! Get angry and weird! Somebody doesn’t know how to be ugly pretty!” Toward the end, Jessica musters some energy and managed to fend off more catty comments from Mr. Jay.
Here comes Raina, dressed in nothing but panties! The rest of her is covered in ropes. “You’re not pushing,” Tyra scolds. Angelea arrives next, knowing she needs to perform to her fullest. “You’re doing high school portrait,” Tyra says. “Sweet, soft and blah.” Ouch.
Just as the photographer Tyra starts to lose the light, Krista emerges. She almost has no sun to work with, but she still delivers time and again. She’s definitely still the top contender in this competition.
“Oh Mylanta!” Raina declares. “I so do not want to go home.”
Panel time! Guest judge: McLeod.
Alexandra is up first. She earns universal praise. Raina looks almost angry and mean. She gets mixed reviews. “I didn’t feel you were very passionate about this,” Tyra says.
Octomom’s photo impresses Andre Leon Talley, but not Nigel or Tyra, who feels that, for the second week in a row, the Buffalo girl has fallen flat.
And here comes Jessica: got to give her praise. She fights, successfully, through the shadow to the light, though Andre doesn’t seem all that impressed. “I think the shadow is wearing you,” Tyra analyzes. “You don’t want to be the pretty girl who gets lost in the shadow.”
Lastly: Krista. The universal praise makes me wonder if she can do no wrong at this point. “You are ahead of the pack,” says Tyra in a way that clearly indicates that Krista is the only one in the pack.
The callout? Is there any surprise that Krista is first?
The rest: Alexandra, Angelea. Bottom two: Jessica and Raina.
Jessica is loved for being so sweet, but dissed for being too commercial. Raina is cut down for evoking everything but edge. Still, Raina stays; Jessica is clearly the weaker of the two and is sent packing. She can finally go see that baby of hers.
Next week comes a shock: Two girls are being sent home, and the finalists get to model for a real fashion house -- Anna Sui!