I am not here to dump on every former Disney and/or tween-fanbased star that hits my desk. I actually want to pull for Selena Gomez, to mark a positive path for girls who want to be more than just Justin Bieber's girlfriend. I also actually, genuinely like "Who Says" and I think the styling for her "When the Sun Goes Down" was pretty stunning.

That being said, Selena Gomez' music video for "Hit the Lights" is something like a three-and-a-half-minute JCPenney commercial. Preceded by a Selena Gomez Kmart commercial. Wasn't there, like, three teases and a behind-the-scenes of this? For what?

The song itself is bursting gummi bears and your favorite PG (or PG-13!) kissing scene, with the inspirational tone of Katy Perry's "Firework" and the "do it before you regret it" urgency of Britney Spears' "Till the World Ends," churned through that old diary of yours. It's pop tomes of a sing-songy ballad, put to a peak-energy dance song.

The clip, however, is about 1,200 opportunities for Gomez to do cute things in a field and in a room of pink balloons, what-have-you. God knows, I'd love to have a spare room for just this purpose. It is nothing more but a bedazzled revolving door of age-appropriate costumery and adorable sunglasses, like... it's... selling me something.

I found myself also upset by the fact that Gomez is the brown-eyed version of Alexandra Daddario, who guest-starred on "Parenthood" last night as Rachel and she's really messing with Adam Braverman's head ohmygosh. THE POINT IS Rachel was jarred and quickly convinced in last night's episode that she's more than a pretty face; Gomez, are you there?