Jack White performs as the sole grown-up in the hypnotically disturbing music video for "Sixteen Saltines," but the real stars are the kids. Doing weird kid stuff, like playing hopscotch with their own severed fingers and Robo-tripping.

Leave it to the mind of the former White Stripes evil genius White to make a "Lord of the Rings" gangland of terrible juvenile behavior, because now I have all sorts of ideas having to do with putting liquor in my coffee maker. Dancers fly whimsically into the sky, pre-teens tattoo each other in the dark, slushies are consumed and spat out as part of a bizarre cheerleader mating ritual. And then the solo man of the hour is left to die in the back seat of a car about to be lit on fire, with a choreographed dance of BMXes to close the show.

The story boards must have been entertaining. I would frame them and sell them.

"Sixteen Saltines" is the second promoted single from Jack White's first solo album "Blunderbuss," due on April 24. The song is already available on iTunes and 7" via his own Third Man label and, for Record Store Day, White's putting it out on...

12-inch featuring a  George Ingram-designed playable etching of the iconic Third Man logo on the B-side (Jack's cover of U2's "Love is Blindness"). The grooves of the record play through the image, making it the world's first-ever playable etched record®. An ultra-limited-edition version of the "Sixteen Saltines" 12-inch, also featuring the playable etching, will pressed on clear vinyl-and filled with psychedelic blue liquid. The liquid-filled "Saltines" is the first-ever disc of its kind to be made available to the public -- and will only be available at Third Man's store in Nashville.

God love that man.