Watch: Duran Duran merge with super models for 'Girl Panic'
If you need a few moment of wank material, here's nine-and-a-half minutes for free, though not commercial-free.
Duran Duran unleashed their extremely expensive Jonas Åkerlund-directed music video for new single "Girl Panic" and, boy, are there girls. Lots of them. And they're all models, kissing each other, pretending to be hung-over, air-humping, drinking champagne RIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE (!!!), brushing their bed-head from their faces and walking around the hallways perhaps in search of some diet soda or a cigarette.
The figureheads of the video are Duran Duran, played by super models Naomi Campbell as lead singer Simon Le Bon, Cindy Crawford as bassist John Taylor, Eva Herzigova as keyboardist Nick Rhodes ("as the only blonde in the band" [!!]), Helena Christensen as drummer Roger Taylor and Simon's wife Yasmin Le Bon as "the anonymous guitarist" (ouch). They dryly talk about their stardom, address former allegations like addiction, and explain why the band is "still at it" after 30 years, in bondage unis. This "encomassing humour" is funny because super models are trying be rock stars. Isn't that hilarious?
Duran Duran meta-note that they were among the first bands to use models in the videos, because nobody would have ever thought of that. And if the models-as-rock-stars metaphor is to extended, then it appears the guys and their crew spend all their downtime just making out with each other.
But to be fair, some of the shots are head-rushingly beautiful, and the fashion is sometimes on fire. I'm still not so wild about the song, which sounds outdated, and I'm so damn sweaty and exhausted by the end, I don't have it in me to give it another go, to play a fun game of "name that designer."
Duran Duran fans who live to support this single, however, will love this.