The 53rd annual, 2011 Grammy Awards Drinking Game
Welcome to the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards in 2011, an event that you may be able further tolerate with organized drinking.
I know that every year we can always count on somebody thanking God, or wearing tacky pinstripes, or forgetting the bra or looking like they're gonna throw up as they look into the camera. It's pop music's three-and-a-half hours and we get the very best and worst.
Grab yourself a case and share some with your neighbor, as we take you through some pretty basic drinking cues for the 2011 ceremony, broadcasting live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles tonight (Feb. 13) starting at 8 p.m. EST via CBS. Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Eminem, Lady Antebellum and other stars may not be able to slam some back while they sit in the auditorium, so you sweatpanted masses might as well.
Here are some drinking rules and cues. What would you add?
+ Every shot on Katy Perry's cleavage, take two drinks
+ For each word Bieber pronounces as though he is from Philly and not from Canada, scream hysterically then drink
+ If Usher is wearing sunglasses and or touches his chest during seating or performance, OMG, freaking drink
+ When and if Eminem smiles, "recover" from shock and waterfall that drink
[More after the jump...]
+ Drink a number of sips corresponding with the number of people Lady Gaga's outfit --whatever f'ed up thing it is -- obscures
+ When Lady Gaga performs or accepts any award, drink for each openly gay person the camera focuses upon
+ Each mention and appearance of Dr. Dre: keep talking about drinking but then never actually take your drink out of the fridge
+ Kiss your drink when Mick Jagger purses his lips
+ For each pained glance from Arcade Fire's Win Butler's face, drink whatever you drank in the town where you grew up
+ If John Mayer wins Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance, make your ugliest guitar face and drink
+ Whenever Katy Perry offers a thanks to Jesus instead of to EMI/Capitol -- who she really should be thanking for her nominations -- pray before you drink
+ Drink the best drink in the room, even if it isn't yours, and claim you were the one who brought it, for each shot of Drake mugging his ass off
+ For each joke from commentators, presenters or even commercials that they can't say the title of Cee Lo's "Fuck You," fuck it: drink
+ Grab a cough drop and drink every time Christina growls through her Aretha segment
+ Whenever Taylor Swift does that thing where she covers or opens her mouth like she-can't-believe-what's-happening-to-her, act surprised that you're drinking and drink
+ Nicki Minaj Crazy Eyes (TM): you know what to do
+ Everytime you see one of the "Glee" kids lip-syncing to the house music, don't stop a'drinkin'
+ Each glimpse of Keith Urban, drink something bland but has a great bottle
+ Chris Brown... just ignore your drink, it'll go away
+ Mention of Clive Davis? Drink with self-promotion and longevity
2013 | Comedy | NRSummary: Insanely funny comedy show created by Amy Schumer, who stars in brilliantly funny sketches about sex, city living, dating, and friendship.Director: Daniel Powell, Amy Schumer (creators)
Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by. It has deep soul, a wicked sense of humor, and Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, and Robert Forster.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
2013 | Thriller | RSummary: Based on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) a Miami bodybuilder who wants to live the American dream. He would like to have the money that other people have. So he enlists the help of fellow bodybuilder Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and ex-convict, Christian bodybuilder Paul Doyle (D...Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
2007 | Comedy | PGSummary: Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.Director: Steve Carr
Cast: John C. McGinley, Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
1996 | Crime | RSummary: Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start ...Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Cast: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare
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