More Stars get rejected by Oscar, ready to shill at Globes
So, before the holidays I had some fun conjecturing what went through the stars minds when their publicists told, er, I mean offered them the plum gig of presenting at this year’s 66th Annual Golden Globes.
Now, even more big names are planning on hawking their wares on television's second most watched Awards show (at least it was before last year's strike threw the business out of wack). Let’s take a peek into those dark scary brains shall we?
Reasoning: “Awww, you HFPA peeps are so cute. What’s that perfume you’re wearing gain? Oh, it’s not too strong at all. I love it. I mean, it’s so captivating I can smell it all the way in the other room. ”
Reasoning: “My, I haven’t won a Globe in over 10 years! But ‘Grey Gardens’ will be on HBO soon and there’s always next year, right? I mean, how many more has Meryl won than me? No, I meant before this year.”
Reasoning: “’Kill the Messenger’ on DVD Jan. 20 bitches.”
Reasoning: “It’s for Heath right? I mean, this is what Heath would have wanted right?”
Reasoning: “[Sigh]. No, you don’t have to remind me about the contract. Yes, I understand it requires me to promote the show. Numerous times. But, let me tell you this. You make it damn clear I want more Emmy consideration ads for this [expletive].”
Reasoning: “Wait, I have to wear the same pair of pants as three other presenters? Eww. Don’t they get we never wore the real same pair of pants in the movie? That joke is like two-years-old. Oh. It was either that or make out with Chace? No, you’re right his mouth has been everywhere. Let’s do the pants bit.”
Aren't you glad we took a peek? Enlightening, no?
And yes, even more big names that got turned down for the Academy Awards (cause trust me, unless you get nominated for a Globe, you aren’t touching that Beverly Hilton stage until Oscar says “no”) are on the way.
1993 | Sports | PGSummary: Emotionally powerful sports classic featuring Sean Astin as a skinny high school kid with big football dreams and the determination to make his way towards his dream team at Notre Dame.Director: David Anspaugh
Cast: Sean Astin, Jon Favreau, Ned Beatty
2007 | Comedy | PGSummary: Newlyweds Nick (Ice Cube) and Suzanne (Long) decide to move to the suburbs to provide a better life for their two kids. But their idea of a dream home is disturbed by a contractor (McGinley) with a bizarre approach to business.Director: Steve Carr
Cast: John C. McGinley, Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen
1995 | Mystery | NRSummary: Denzel Washington plays an out of work WWII vet who takes the wrong job and is soon neck-deep in a mess of politics, murder, and jazz in '40s Los Angeles.Director: Carl Franklin
Cast: Denzel Washington, Tom Sizemore, Jennifer Beals
2008 | Science Fiction | PGSummary: Animated series continues the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker as they battle the Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku and General Grievous, but also takes time to explore other smaller characters in the Star Wars universe.Director: George Lucas (creator)
Cast: Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Matt Lanter
2013 | Thriller | RSummary: Based on the true story of Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) a Miami bodybuilder who wants to live the American dream. He would like to have the money that other people have. So he enlists the help of fellow bodybuilder Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and ex-convict, Christian bodybuilder Paul Doyle (D...Director: Michael Bay
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub
2013 | Drama | RSummary: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill have boundless energy in the story of a real-life commodities crook who earned millions through scummy small-time stock trades.Director: Martin Scorsese
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
1996 | Crime | RSummary: Jerry, a small-town Minnesota car salesman is bursting at the seams with debt... but he's got a plan. He's going to hire two thugs to kidnap his wife in a scheme to collect a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law. It's going to be a snap and nobody's going to get hurt... until people start ...Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Cast: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare
2013 | Comedy | NRSummary: Insanely funny comedy show created by Amy Schumer, who stars in brilliantly funny sketches about sex, city living, dating, and friendship.Director: Daniel Powell, Amy Schumer (creators)
Cast: Amy Schumer, Kevin Kane, Mike Houston
1997 | Crime | RSummary: Quentin Tarantino adaptats an Elmore Leonard novel into this story of a few increasingly desperate people scraping to get by. It has deep soul, a wicked sense of humor, and Samuel L. Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, and Robert Forster.Director: Quentin Tarantino
Cast: Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
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