Just when I thought I was out, FOX made it much too easy for me to pull myself back in.
If you'll recall, I hated the second season of "The X Factor." It was, in fact, my Worst Show of 2013, a perfect storm of disinterested (L.A. Reid) and discombobulated (Britney Spears) judges, of inept (Khloe Kardashian) and smarmy (Mario Lopez) hosts and of frustratingly predictable voting that marginalized what was, at times, a really talented crop of singers.
So I was prepared to quit on "The X Factor." Or, at the very least, I was prepared to hold off on my recapping until I'd had a chance to watch a couple episodes and see if new judges Paulina Rubio and Kelly Rowland were capable of bringing the magic the show has clearly lacked in the past.
That was going to mean eschewing a recap Wednesday (September 11) night's premiere.
But then FOX made two big decisions: The first was to premiere "X Factor" with only a one-hour episode. I can put up with an hour of recapping. The second decision was to put the full premiere up for press, meaning that not did it only require one hour of live-blogging, but it really only required 44 minutes, sans commercials.
Hence the live-blog you see before you. And also, hence the confusing time format, which relates to the 44 minutes of episode time and not to the time of the premiere, either ET or otherwise. I'll be sure to put contestant names in bold, so you can find your way around that way.
In order for y'all to get more recaps from me this season, one of three things will have to happen: 1) The third incarnation of "The X Factor" would have to be awesome. 2) Traffic on this darned recap would have to be awesome. 3) There has to be an insane outpouring of reader interest.
With that out of the way... Here's what went down on Wednesday's "X Factor" premiere: