Following quickly on the heels of the official one-sheet yesterday, the trailer for "Titanic 3D" has hit the web...and boy, is it corny (and, in the last 40 seconds, near-insufferable for reasons that will become clear to you momentarily). While I do get capitalizing on nostalgia and all (as I noted in my commentary on the poster yesterday), the decision-makers at Paramount have really gone overboard this time (pun intended?). I mean eww, you guys! Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On"? Is this some kind of a sick, heartless joke?

It's worth noting that as a point of comparison I also viewed the film's original 1997 trailer, and it's a superior spot in every way, deftly balancing the film's admittedly melodramatic central love story with the plot's more action-heavy elements (something the film itself also managed quite well). Of course there's a segment of the audience who will no doubt be pulled in by the marketing campaign's emphasis on recalling the film's hokier tear-jerking elements (admittedly the reason the film became as enormously successful as it did in the first place), but I don't think the trailer does enough to appeal to those more interested in seeing James Cameron's expertly-orchestrated action sequences rendered in three dimensions.

And again, I can't help but stress my distaste for the Celine Dion element. I mean, they couldn't even be bothered to throw in a couple shots of the late Gloria Stuart or Billy Zane, and yet somehow a song that tortured millions of innocent citizens for an entire year or more made the cut - for a full 40 seconds of screen time, no less? It's just terribly, terribly wrong.

My trailer grade: "C-" (points added for the set of epic balls required to so nakedly manipulate the emotions of millions of ordinary Americans). Be sure to let us know what you think by rating it for yourself at top left!

"Titanic 3D" hits theaters on April 6th.