For those who weren't sure they could live another day without seeing 80-year-old Larry Hagman in a bath towel, have I got a treat for you. Because here he is, in a bath towel, on the new poster promoting TNT's upcoming revival of the iconic '70s and '80s primetime soap "Dallas".
Larry's not the only one, of course. Patrick Duffy - you know, the dad from "Step By Step" - is also on hand here, and boy does he get our minds going with that come-hither sideways stare. Gee, aren't your loins just tingling?
Ok, who else? Linda Gray - 71 going on 50! - joins the rest of the returning cast members in the back row, and by "returning cast members" I do mean Gray's fellow "old-fogey" Brenda Strong, who played the memorable role of "Cliff's One Night Stand" in a 1987 episode of the original series. On that note, how pissed is Ms. Strong that Linda was chosen to stand behind the poster's obvious focal point, walking gay chatline advertisement Josh Henderson?
Which brings me to the front row of this uncomfortably-sexualized family photo, which has been fully stocked with a group of super-sexy Abercrombie & Fitch models - ahem, excuse me, Jesse Metcalfe, Henderson, Jordana Brewster and Julie Gonzalo - who look primed and ready to rub their hot bodies all over you at a moment's notice, or at least as soon as they've finished posing for that softcore DVD cover.
Of course, I'm clearly skirting the elephant in the communal family shower with all my bantering here, the elephant being: are Larry and Patrick sporting boners there in the back row? I mean, are they? Judging from the look on Duffy's face, I'm going to go with "yes".
But more importantly, what do you think? Check out the full poster below and then sound off in the comments!
Follow me on Twitter @HitFixChris
Official synopsis of the new series:
The one and only Dallas is back with more delicious drama. JR, Bobby and Sue Ellen Ewing return to the ranch with secrets, schemes and betrayals. This time, they're joined by the next generation of Ewings, who take ambition and deception to a wicked new level. The battle for power, love and Southfork erupts in the new Dallas on TNT next summer.
The new Dallas stars Josh Henderson, Jesse Metcalfe, Jordana Brewster, Julie Gonzalo and Brenda Strong, and they will be joined by iconic stars Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray and Larry Hagman as J.R. Ewing.
The explosive rivalry between brothers J.R. Ewing and Bobby Ewing (Duffy) now lives on through another generation, with the future of the family fortune in the hands of the Ewing offspring: cousins John Ross Ewing (Henderson), the son of J.R. and ex-wife Sue Ellen (Gray), and Christopher Ewing (Metcalfe), the adopted son of Bobby.